Tennis and Decision Making

The tennis coach says, “you have to think about your decision making” and I am startled at the synchronicity; he is focusing right where we are at. My son and I have been looking at decision making - both of us working on our own personal areas of difficulty around making good decisions to do hard things. Mine is taking an action (not procrastinatingJ) when I am uncertain and don’t know exactly how to do something. His is planning and preparing for the decision point around stopping (computer gaming J) and moving to something else (homework L).

Now in senior school, our son is easily able to follow the guidance and learn from others. But it was not always like that. I often watch other parents and marvel that they can just take for granted, actually do not even realize, the intricacies of parenting and guiding a child. It seems such a simple process and is so intuitive when everything is working well.

Our son has Asperger’s Syndrome and it was not until we found Relationship Development Intervention that we really got answers for the areas he struggled with and for the difficulties we had as parents. Because of the processing difficulties for children with a neuro-developmental disability such as an Autism Spectrum Disorder, the ability of the parent and child to be in a guided participation relationship breaks down.

I listen in anticipation as the tennis coach elaborates, “ You have to use the front part of your brain”, he says. “As the player on the other side starts to hit their shot, you are already starting the decision making process.”

• “ Do I need to come to the front of the court?”
• “Do I need to run faster to get there on time?”
• “Where do I need to be so I can get that ball?”

He brings to the surface the thinking process that gets feet moving and the student in the right place for the ball. And then as they have a go, he spotlights the miss and evaluates. He evaluates in a way that empowers the student to try again. His evaluation is not about the performance (missing the ball) it’s about the thinking beforehand...“what happened then?”...... “You forgot to do the decision making!” “What did you learn for next time?”

In RDI, as parents we are coached to put back in place the Guided Participation Relationship. From the beginning we are learning to evaluate our thinking around the decisions we choose to make, which create opportunities for our child to be able to re-do the developmental steps they’ve missed. Decision making for creating lots of opportunities for the child’s willingness and responsibility:

• to be in a relationship ,
• for their actions and communication,
• to be guided and to take another’s perspective,
• to try something new and face a challenge
• with the possibility that they could fail or make a mistake

And to monitor, evaluate and adjust their own decision making

...for competence and motivation not only on the tennis court but daily in the dynamic real world.

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Bronwen Prazak
RDI Program Certified Consultant
ASD Life Quality Connections

Bronwen is a parent and consultant who has been involved with RDI since 2005. Bronwen has always been passionate about growth and reaching potential and loves RDI and the work that she is able to do with families in bringing about these possibilities. Bronwen lives in Hobart, Tasmania.... the small island state of Australia closest to Antarctica!

If you are interested in having Bronwen work with your family, you can contact her by email, phone (0423 066 276) or through the Connect and Relate for Autism website.