Making Lemonade out of Lemons

I have a client who has found herself in a sort of crisis that other parents here have probably experienced as well. Her young school-aged son is a bright, very sweet, and academically advanced kid with very strong reading, math, writing skills. He is on the spectrum and has no acceptable educational placement at this time. Rather than agree to a less-than-appropriate placement in an autism class offering only ABA (which this child does not respond positively to), this mom has chosen to homeschool her son while waiting for due process. Her dream is for the school district to agree to use a developmental treatment model (RDI) with her son to address his unique social and communication deficits; including deficits in experience sharing, co-regulation, collaboration, perspective taking, etc.

Below is a recent email exchange between this mom me as she works through the fact that, although difficult, this time with her son is precious and, maybe even a gift:

Mom (writing to me): "Another quick story...as I was putting lotion on him after his bath in his bedroom...he was jumping around and singing a song...forgot some of the words...so I joined in...we then sung the song together...He was laughing, jumping, inviting me to share the experience with him. It was nice to feel that connection, to know he was enjoying my company. Libby, more and more, he is doing this and I can see what you have been talking about - being at home with me is not the worst thing in the world and he is building those connections which in the long run will help him when he is not with me. We still have some ways to go, but we are closer than we were this time last year."

Me (writing to mom): "Love the story - I'm so glad you are seeing benefits in this time w/ him. There are many silver linings to this situation and you can definitely make lemonade out of lemons with this. Take the time to enjoy him & to give him literally hundreds of hours of face to face experience sharing & guided experiences. Make crafts, bake cookies together, write stories together, play w/ playdough, plant flowers, carve a pumpkin, go on nature walks, play candyland backwards, sort the mail together, take out the recycling together...trust me that he will be sooo much more prepared to laugh, joke, initiate, solve problems, face uncertainty, think dynamically, make friends, and participate in group settings if we take advantage of this time and use it as an opportunity rather than as something that's been denied to him."

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