Getting to Productive Uncertainty

I can remember vividly my rising anxiety each year on the first day of school. It would only last the morning and be settled and gone by recess. However, the level of “unknown” was too great and would tip me into unproductive uncertainty; feeling ill and out of my depth. I never spoke about this, which left me alone and isolated in my overwhelmed state.

I wonder what it must be like to constantly be immersed in that fear of uncertainty; feeling alone, isolated and overwhelmed without ability to manage in the unknown. From infancy, in a naturally developed beautiful feedback loop between parent and infant, we learn to use the perspective of our parents when we are faced with uncertainty. Knowing we can look to them to find out whether something is safe to go ahead or dangerous and we need to stop. This relationship gives us the scaffold to manage uncertainty in a productive way. And it is in these safe challenges that where we learn how to manage ourselves and use others reference points to help us manage our dynamic worlds.

People who have Autism Spectrum Disorder or other neuro-developmental disorders do not develop this reciprocal feedback loop, which allows parents to guide the participation of their child, provide appropriate scaffolding to manage uncertainty and develop the motivation of the child to look for the next challenge. Without the feedback loop an ASD child will often move between two extremes; either UNPRODUCTIVE UNCERTAINTY (Fright, fight, flight mode and behaviors of resistance, avoidance, opposition or withdrawal), or UNPRODUCTIVE CERTAINTY, (seeking out something known and comforting by immersing themselves in something very controllable, predictable and static). 

Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) helped me rebuild the reciprocal feedback loop and guide my child out of only knowing and only noticing the two extremes. RDI helped me guide my child to want to seek out and stay in the middle ground - the place of productive uncertainty that is so vital for learning to successfully live and relate and manage in the uncertainty and dynamics of the real world. Through Relationship Development Intervention we moved to many moments of productive uncertainty which helped to lay the foundations for dynamically monitoring, evaluating and adjusting and built competence, motivation and resilience.

Now the occasional “first dayitis” occurs but it’s a one off like my annual school event. Most of the time he is out there going with the flow, coping with change and managing himself; knowing there are others around he can look to for help if he does feel uncertain. It opens up whole new areas of possibility when you can get to the middle ground of productive uncertainty.

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Bronwen Prazak
RDI Program Certified Consultant
ASD Life Quality Connections

Bronwen is a parent and consultant who has been involved with RDI since 2005. Bronwen has always been passionate about growth and reaching potential and loves RDI and the work that she is able to do with families in bringing about these possibilities. Bronwen lives in Hobart, Tasmania.... the small island state of Australia closest to Antarctica!

If you are interested in having Bronwen work with your family, you can contact her by email, phone (0423 066 276) or through the Connect and Relate for Autism website.