The Gifts of All Gifts: Part 2 by Stacey Tessis
In part one of this blog series, I talked about how the greatest gift that you can give your children this holiday season and always is YOU and your TIME
Here are three ways that you can create more quality time to spend with them:
1) Put down your Blackberry and iPhone. We cannot be 100% present with our children and give them the message that they are important to us if we're texting, tweeting and checking our Facebook status. Give them your full attention when you're having conversations and during mealtime and family outings as well. You will be surprised how much more your children will want to share with you.
Think about what you can eliminate from your schedule so you can create more opportunities for quality time. This can also include putting off doing certain errands (ask yourself if you really need to do it today) or leaving certain chores like folding laundry for another day. Better yet, get your kids to help you and it will go faster. You can have unexpected fun when sock balls are involved!
How much time do you and your children spend watching TV, surfing the web or playing video and computer games? According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than four hours of TV each day. That's 28 hours per week or two months of nonstop TV-watching per year. That's a lot of time that you could convert to quality time with your children.
Another ritual that you can establish is a weekly family night. Pull out your favorite board games and introduce new ones. If your child is too competitive, you can play collaborative games where you work as a team and there are no winners or losers. Karaoke is a lot of fun or maybe hoops on the driveway and road hockey are more your speed. This is something that the entire family can look forward to each week. You can take turns planning what activity you will do as well as what food you'll eat, the music you might listen or the décor you might need if you are going to create a theme.
Also, think about sharing your hobbies with your children and including them in what you are already doing. Do you like to bake or build models? Have them choose a recipe or a model that you can build together. Is there a project that you need to get done around the house like clean out the garage or build a shed? You and your children can work on them together at your own pace; they don't need to be completed in one day. In the process, your kids may even learn to share your passions and discover their own.
Writer P.D. James eloquently said, "What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give." In addition to feeling loved and secure, children learn many critical life skills from these interactions with their parents, including how to problem-solve, self-regulate, manage uncertainty, develop resilience, collaborate and communicate effectively with others, to be empathic and many more. They, in turn, will be able to pass on the same love and knowledge to others throughout their lifetime.
Many parents don't realize that spending quality time and being present with their children is the best and longest-lasting gift that they can give their children. Remember this as you plan your defensive strategy for conquering the malls unscathed this holiday season.
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Stacey Tessis, B.A., A.T.C., is a Parenting Coach and has been an RDI® Program Certified Consultant since 2008. She empowers and guides parents to effectively lead their child's remediation and bring more joy to their lives. Stacey has a private practice in Toronto, Canada, and works with clients as far away as Greece. She provides customized programs to families, school consultations, and interactive workshops.The source of Stacey's greatest joy is the time spent with her son discovering the universe through his inquisitive eyes. He inspires her to explore her fun side and to radiate possibility into the world. You can reach Stacey here.