Communication
There is often the misconception that the
purpose of human communication is to get our needs met. Parents look forward to their child learning
to speak so that “they can tell me what they want”. This kind of communication is called
Instrumental Communication and is used when we have some sort of underlying
agenda for our communication partner (often “getting” them to do something). However, what makes human communication truly
unique, is that we use it to build bridges between our minds and those of
others. It allows us to compare,
contrast and integrate our diverse experiences with each other. This is called Experience Sharing
Communication, and it usually makes up about 80% of our overall communication.
Experience-Sharing Communication
Experience Sharing Communication is
dynamic. It involves simultaneous
processing (of gestures, facial expressions, words, context, prosody), it is
imperfect, it is unpredictable, it involves emotions. Instrumental Communication, by contrast, is
pretty static. It has right and wrong
answers, predictable responses and can often be scripted in advance. People with ASD are more likely to use
instrumental communication for most of their communication, or, if they are‘non-verbal’ they are often taught instrumental communication (how to ask for
what they want). In RDI, we focus on the
developmental progression of communication, which is through multi-channel
experience sharing communication. Very
young children are normally very competent non-verbal communicators before they
start to use words. When they start to
use words, it is more often for experience sharing than to have their needs
met.
Declarative Communication
In RDI we attempt to follow this
developmental model, by encouraging the development of experience sharing
communication. One of the ways we do
this, is to introduce ‘declarative communication’. This involves sharing our own perspectives,
rather than questioning; and making
statements rather than giving commands.
Sometimes, in making plans for declarative communication, we fail to
distinguish between “true” experience sharing and Indirect Influence.
“True” Experience Sharing
When we have no ‘agenda’ and we are not trying
to ‘get’ our communication partner to ‘do’ anything or respond in a certain
way, then we are using ‘true’ experience sharing communication. This communication does not demand an answer,
but it does invite a response. There is
no right or wrong response. If there is
no response, then that is ok. After all,
it is an invitation to share perspectives, not a demand. When using “true” experience sharing
communication, it is recommended that you do not repeat yourself (then it
starts to sound like a response is required) and that you do not say anything
else for at least 45 seconds – it is important to give your communication
partner time to really think about
what you have said.
Indirect Influence
The other type of declarative language we
use is when we are trying to reduce or remove direct prompts and commands. This means translating questions and prompts
into statements. Often the statement
refers to the “problem” at hand, but not the solution. (eg. “It’s sunny
outside”, rather than “get your hat”).
With this type of experience sharing language, we are trying to
encourage thoughtfulness and mental engagement, instead of allowing for
mindless prompt dependency. So this type
of declarative language does have an
underlying agenda. We are trying to encourage our child
towards a particular sequence of thoughts or actions. However, by presenting them with a ‘problem’
to think about and generate solution/s to, we are hopefully moving away from them
simply choosing between compliance or non-compliance. It is amazing how, if you place the lunchbox
in your child’s hands, they will look at it curiously, hopefully have an “a ha”
moment, and run and put it in their school bag.
Whereas if you had demanded “put your lunch box in your bag”, they most
likely would have said “no!”
When you start to focus on changing your child’s communication environment, it is important that you increase your percentage of experience sharing communication, compared to instrumental. It will be most beneficial if you make sure that you use both kinds: “true” experience sharing communication AND experience sharing for the purpose of “indirect influence”.
Helen is the first person to bring Relationship Development Intervention® to the Mid-North Coast area of New South Wales. Helen is located in Coffs Harbour and, while focussing on families within the region, is also available to work with families from anywhere in Australia.
Helen has a great passion for RDI® and the improvement in quality of life that it can bring to people with ASD and their families.
Helen is also a qualified secondary teacher, which supplements her role as Guide to the parents, who, in turn, are learning to guide their child through RDI®. Being the mother of four boys brings yet another dimension to her understanding of family life. Helen is currently accepting new families onto the RDI® Program. Email Helen
http://www.autismconnections.com.au