Noticing the dwindling shopping days left until Christmas, I resolve to finish the holiday season and begin the New Year refreshed and renewed. The ideas generated by Helen O'Callaghan, an Australian consultant are a good start and I recommend reading last week's newsletter if you've not done so already. Slow down to speed up, an RDI mantra for the season already upon us. Keep it simple, make it personal, nothing wrong with something that is practical and, especially important, give together...(read more)![]()
Stress Free Giving
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The Gifts of All Gifts: Part 2
The Gifts of All Gifts: Part 2 by Stacey Tessis
RDI Certified Consultant, Stacey Tessis
In part one of this blog series, I talked about how the greatest gift that you can give your children this holiday season and always is YOU and your TIME
Here are three ways that you can create more quality time to spend with them:
1) Put down your Blackberry and iPhone. We cannot be 100% present with our children and give them the message that they are important to us if we're texting, tweeting and checking our Facebook status. Give them your full attention when you're having conversations and during mealtime and family outings as well. You will be surprised how much more your children will want to share with you.
2) Make quality time a priority and eliminate non-essential activities. If you were spending less time traveling to programs and therapies, you
would have more opportunities to spend with your children. We put our
kids into extra-curricular activities for various reasons: they enjoy
them, to broaden their horizons and learn new skills, for social
opportunities, to experience things that we wished we could have done
when we were their age, etc. However, far too many kids are
over-programmed these days and don't have enough downtime to just hang
out and be kids. Is it necessary to have them in programs everyday after
school? Do they need to play basketball three times per week? Are they
in some programs that they don't even like or do not participate fully?
Think about what you can eliminate from your schedule so you can create more opportunities for quality time. This can also include putting off doing certain errands (ask yourself if you really need to do it today) or leaving certain chores like folding laundry for another day. Better yet, get your kids to help you and it will go faster. You can have unexpected fun when sock balls are involved!
How much time do you and your children spend watching TV, surfing the web or playing video and computer games? According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than four hours of TV each day. That's 28 hours per week or two months of nonstop TV-watching per year. That's a lot of time that you could convert to quality time with your children.
3) Schedule quality time. It's important to plan quality time with your kids and actually put it
on your calendar because it's not going to happen on its own. If you
work long hours, try to arrive home at least 15-20 minutes before they
go to bed so you can talk about their day. Make it a weeknight ritual,
and each day read a chapter together from an interesting novel, maybe
one of your favorites from when you were a kid.
Another ritual that you can establish is a weekly family night. Pull out your favorite board games and introduce new ones. If your child is too competitive, you can play collaborative games where you work as a team and there are no winners or losers. Karaoke is a lot of fun or maybe hoops on the driveway and road hockey are more your speed. This is something that the entire family can look forward to each week. You can take turns planning what activity you will do as well as what food you'll eat, the music you might listen or the décor you might need if you are going to create a theme.
Also, think about sharing your hobbies with your children and including them in what you are already doing. Do you like to bake or build models? Have them choose a recipe or a model that you can build together. Is there a project that you need to get done around the house like clean out the garage or build a shed? You and your children can work on them together at your own pace; they don't need to be completed in one day. In the process, your kids may even learn to share your passions and discover their own.
Writer P.D. James eloquently said, "What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give." In addition to feeling loved and secure, children learn many critical life skills from these interactions with their parents, including how to problem-solve, self-regulate, manage uncertainty, develop resilience, collaborate and communicate effectively with others, to be empathic and many more. They, in turn, will be able to pass on the same love and knowledge to others throughout their lifetime.
Many parents don't realize that spending quality time and being present with their children is the best and longest-lasting gift that they can give their children. Remember this as you plan your defensive strategy for conquering the malls unscathed this holiday season.
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Stacey Tessis, B.A., A.T.C., is a Parenting Coach and has been an RDI® Program Certified Consultant since 2008. She empowers and guides parents to effectively lead their child's remediation and bring more joy to their lives. Stacey has a private practice in Toronto, Canada, and works with clients as far away as Greece. She provides customized programs to families, school consultations, and interactive workshops.The source of Stacey's greatest joy is the time spent with her son discovering the universe through his inquisitive eyes. He inspires her to explore her fun side and to radiate possibility into the world. You can reach Stacey here.
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Learning to Breathe with RDI: Part 1 of My Story by Bronwen Prazak
RDI Certified Consultant,
Bronwen Prazak
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take But by the moments that take our breath away”
Finding Relationship Development Intervention was a moment that took my breath away. As we have breathed our way through RDI, there have been many moments around tiny changes, but so momentous, they still take our breath away.
I am having trouble remembering just what it was like. I am also having trouble with sharing how dismal the future seemed back then. It’s like we have moved on and it is no longer relevant. But at the time it was overwhelming as we struggled to understand and help our son and as we struggled to know how to parent. I know our lives would be very different if I had not finally stumbled across Relationship Development Intervention. I knew I could not stay away and live with the question “what if we had done RDI?” and I had to find out more. I drove 5 hours to Sydney to listen to Dr Gutstein for 2 days straight, cried and soaked in all the videos and had my breath taken away by the amazing explanation. It just made so much sense, for why we were where we were at and for what we could do about it.
Our son was bright and talking early, chunks of sentences. Animated and enthusiastic about lots of different topics, he gobbled up language. Then he just fell into reading and gobbled up knowledge. He loved words and humor and was fun and interesting to be with. But we struggled and he struggled with simple things. It didn’t make sense that he could be so clever in some areas and just not get others. But after hearing Dr Gutstein I could put words to what had been happening; before that I had not seen or heard any ideas that would help or any explanations that resonated with me.
Starting RDI is like going into a clothing shop and getting a new coat; a coat that has a completely different pattern and texture to anything you have ever been used to wearing. In the beginning as we venture into RDI it can feel like putting on a prickly new coat. The things we do, the way we think about things and how we communicate will all be part of our new coat and seem a bit strange and different. We might put the “RDI” coat on at different times in the day but then take it off and go back to our usual doing. But as we slip into understanding the why bother of what we are doing and we build our confidence and competence at what we are doing, the “RDI” coat quickly loses its prickliness. We become more comfortable in what we are doing and we leave the coat on for longer and longer. Eventually, we forget we are wearing an RDI coat and we start to breathe RDI like our skin. RDI just becomes a part of the breaths we take.
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Bronwen Prazak
RDI Program Certified Consultant
ASD Life Quality Connections
Bronwen is a parent and consultant who has been involved with RDI since 2005. Bronwen has always been passionate about growth and reaching potential and loves RDI and the work that she is able to do with families in bringing about these possibilities. Bronwen lives in Hobart, Tasmania.... the small island state of Australia closest to Antarctica!
If you are interested in having Bronwen work with your family, you can contact her by email, phone (0423 066 276) or through the Connect and Relate for Autism website.
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Where We Are
As we enter the holiday season, marred by the full face of evil visited on innocent children, innocent families and innocent adults, there are questions which will never be answered and motives for unthinkable travesty that will defy comprehension. Not only did this diabolical act rob the 27 victims of their future, it stole something deep from the rest of us as well. We wonder if it could happen here. Even as many children were protected from the news countless others were not, making themselves...(read more)![]()
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Getting to Productive Uncertainty
Getting to Productive Uncertainty: Part 2 of My Story RDI Certified Consultant,
Bronwen Prazak
I can remember vividly my rising anxiety each year on the first day of school. It would only last the morning and be settled and gone by recess. However, the level of “unknown” was too great and would tip me into unproductive uncertainty; feeling ill and out of my depth. I never spoke about this, which left me alone and isolated in my overwhelmed state.
I wonder what it must be like to constantly be immersed in that fear of uncertainty; feeling alone, isolated and overwhelmed without ability to manage in the unknown. From infancy, in a naturally developed beautiful feedback loop between parent and infant, we learn to use the perspective of our parents when we are faced with uncertainty. Knowing we can look to them to find out whether something is safe to go ahead or dangerous and we need to stop. This relationship gives us the scaffold to manage uncertainty in a productive way. And it is in these safe challenges that where we learn how to manage ourselves and use others reference points to help us manage our dynamic worlds.
People who have Autism Spectrum Disorder or other neuro-developmental disorders do not develop this reciprocal feedback loop, which allows parents to guide the participation of their child, provide appropriate scaffolding to manage uncertainty and develop the motivation of the child to look for the next challenge. Without the feedback loop an ASD child will often move between two extremes; either UNPRODUCTIVE UNCERTAINTY (Fright, fight, flight mode and behaviors of resistance, avoidance, opposition or withdrawal), or UNPRODUCTIVE CERTAINTY, (seeking out something known and comforting by immersing themselves in something very controllable, predictable and static).
Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) helped me rebuild the reciprocal feedback loop and guide my child out of only knowing and only noticing the two extremes. RDI helped me guide my child to want to seek out and stay in the middle ground - the place of productive uncertainty that is so vital for learning to successfully live and relate and manage in the uncertainty and dynamics of the real world. Through Relationship Development Intervention we moved to many moments of productive uncertainty which helped to lay the foundations for dynamically monitoring, evaluating and adjusting and built competence, motivation and resilience.
Now the occasional “first dayitis” occurs but it’s a one off like my annual school event. Most of the time he is out there going with the flow, coping with change and managing himself; knowing there are others around he can look to for help if he does feel uncertain. It opens up whole new areas of possibility when you can get to the middle ground of productive uncertainty.
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Bronwen Prazak
RDI Program Certified Consultant
ASD Life Quality Connections
Bronwen is a parent and consultant who has been involved with RDI since 2005. Bronwen has always been passionate about growth and reaching potential and loves RDI and the work that she is able to do with families in bringing about these possibilities. Bronwen lives in Hobart, Tasmania.... the small island state of Australia closest to Antarctica!
If you are interested in having Bronwen work with your family, you can contact her by email, phone (0423 066 276) or through the Connect and Relate for Autism website.
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To Resolve or Not to Resolve...That is the Question
Every year about this time I resolve to do many things. There seems a cusp that weighs, one way or another, an inability to follow through, and a desire to do better. This year is no different. But, surprisingly and without exception, I do not know anyone who is resolving to do anything in the upcoming year. 2013 - this wonderful new year ahead of us - remains an opportunity to not only reflect on what we’ve done well but what we want to do better. Thus, resolving to move forward with a new...(read more)![]()
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Making Lemonade out of Lemons
Making Lemonade out of Lemons by Libby Makewski
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| RDI Certified Consultant, Libby Majewski |
I
have a client who has found herself in a sort of crisis that other
parents here have probably experienced as well. Her young school-aged
son is a bright, very sweet, and academically advanced kid with very
strong reading, math, writing skills. He is on the spectrum and has no
acceptable educational placement at this time. Rather than agree to a
less-than-appropriate placement in an autism class offering only ABA (which this child does not respond
positively to), this mom has chosen to homeschool her son while waiting
for due process. Her dream is for the school district to
agree to use a developmental treatment model (RDI) with her son
to address his unique social and communication deficits; including deficits
in experience sharing, co-regulation, collaboration, perspective
taking, etc.
Below
is a recent email exchange between this mom me as she works through
the fact that, although difficult, this time with her son is precious
and, maybe even a gift:
Mom (writing to me): "Another quick story...as I was putting lotion on him after his bath in his bedroom...he was jumping around and singing a song...forgot some of the words...so I joined in...we then sung the song together...He was laughing, jumping, inviting me to share the experience with him. It was nice to feel that connection, to know he was enjoying my company. Libby, more and more, he is doing this and I can see what you have been talking about - being at home with me is not the worst thing in the world and he is building those connections which in the long run will help him when he is not with me. We still have some ways to go, but we are closer than we were this time last year."
Me (writing to mom): "Love the story - I'm so glad you are seeing benefits in this time w/ him. There are many silver linings to this situation and you can definitely make lemonade out of lemons with this. Take the time to enjoy him & to give him literally hundreds of hours of face to face experience sharing & guided experiences. Make crafts, bake cookies together, write stories together, play w/ playdough, plant flowers, carve a pumpkin, go on nature walks, play candyland backwards, sort the mail together, take out the recycling together...trust me that he will be sooo much more prepared to laugh, joke, initiate, solve problems, face uncertainty, think dynamically, make friends, and participate in group settings if we take advantage of this time and use it as an opportunity rather than as something that's been denied to him."
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Mom (writing to me): "Another quick story...as I was putting lotion on him after his bath in his bedroom...he was jumping around and singing a song...forgot some of the words...so I joined in...we then sung the song together...He was laughing, jumping, inviting me to share the experience with him. It was nice to feel that connection, to know he was enjoying my company. Libby, more and more, he is doing this and I can see what you have been talking about - being at home with me is not the worst thing in the world and he is building those connections which in the long run will help him when he is not with me. We still have some ways to go, but we are closer than we were this time last year."
Me (writing to mom): "Love the story - I'm so glad you are seeing benefits in this time w/ him. There are many silver linings to this situation and you can definitely make lemonade out of lemons with this. Take the time to enjoy him & to give him literally hundreds of hours of face to face experience sharing & guided experiences. Make crafts, bake cookies together, write stories together, play w/ playdough, plant flowers, carve a pumpkin, go on nature walks, play candyland backwards, sort the mail together, take out the recycling together...trust me that he will be sooo much more prepared to laugh, joke, initiate, solve problems, face uncertainty, think dynamically, make friends, and participate in group settings if we take advantage of this time and use it as an opportunity rather than as something that's been denied to him."
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Libby Majewski is the founder and director of KidsAhead Consulting and Center for Development in Medford, NJ. Libby has been working with children with autism spectrum and related disorders for approximately 18 years. She is a RDI® Program Certified Consultant and has a background in applied behavior analysis (ABA). She lives in Medford with her husband Steve and their four children Luke, Liam, Ellie, and Madeline. Email Libby.
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Tennis and Decision Making
Tennis and Decision Making: Part 3 of My Story by Bronwen PrazakRDI Certified Consultant,
Bronwen Prazak
The tennis coach says, “you have to think about your decision making” and I am startled at the synchronicity; he is focusing right where we are at. My son and I have been looking at decision making - both of us working on our own personal areas of difficulty around making good decisions to do hard things. Mine is taking an action (not procrastinatingJ) when I am uncertain and don’t know exactly how to do something. His is planning and preparing for the decision point around stopping (computer gaming J) and moving to something else (homework L).
Now in senior school, our son is easily able to follow the guidance and learn from others. But it was not always like that. I often watch other parents and marvel that they can just take for granted, actually do not even realize, the intricacies of parenting and guiding a child. It seems such a simple process and is so intuitive when everything is working well.
Our son has Asperger’s Syndrome and it was not until we found Relationship Development Intervention that we really got answers for the areas he struggled with and for the difficulties we had as parents. Because of the processing difficulties for children with a neuro-developmental disability such as an Autism Spectrum Disorder, the ability of the parent and child to be in a guided participation relationship breaks down.
I listen in anticipation as the tennis coach elaborates, “ You have to use the front part of your brain”, he says. “As the player on the other side starts to hit their shot, you are already starting the decision making process.”
- “ Do I need to come to the front of the court?”
- “Do I need to run faster to get there on time?”
- “Where do I need to be so I can get that ball?”
He brings to the surface the thinking process that gets feet moving and the student in the right place for the ball. And then as they have a go, he spotlights the miss and evaluates. He evaluates in a way that empowers the student to try again. His evaluation is not about the performance (missing the ball) it’s about the thinking beforehand...“what happened then?”...... “You forgot to do the decision making!” “What did you learn for next time?”
In RDI, as parents we are coached to put back in place the Guided Participation Relationship. From the beginning we are learning to evaluate our thinking around the decisions we choose to make, which create opportunities for our child to be able to re-do the developmental steps they’ve missed. Decision making for creating lots of opportunities for the child’s willingness and responsibility:
- to be in a relationship ,
- for their actions and communication,
- to be guided and to take another’s perspective,
- to try something new and face a challenge
- with the possibility that they could fail or make a mistake
And to monitor, evaluate and adjust their own decision making
...for competence and motivation not only on the tennis court but daily in the dynamic real world.
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Bronwen Prazak
RDI Program Certified Consultant
ASD Life Quality Connections
Bronwen is a parent and consultant who has been involved with RDI since 2005. Bronwen has always been passionate about growth and reaching potential and loves RDI and the work that she is able to do with families in bringing about these possibilities. Bronwen lives in Hobart, Tasmania.... the small island state of Australia closest to Antarctica!
If you are interested in having Bronwen work with your family, you can contact her by email, phone (0423 066 276) or through the Connect and Relate for Autism website.
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The Joys of Bagging Groceries
The Joys of Bagging Groceries by Audry Todd
RDI Certified Consultant,
Audrey Todd
I have been a certified RDI consultant since 2007. In 2009 my husband and I started a vocational rehabilitation facility dedicated to persons with autism. I have been working from RDI principles with my eight year-old nonverbal son Liam since 2006 (when he was two). Over the years my son and I have participated in a wide variety of co-regulation frameworks together. I thought that I had exhausted all the possibilities of extending and expanding on the standard dishes, laundry, and shopping frameworks—until last week when I stumbled upon a goldmine of opportunity for the guiding relationship with my son at a local chain of the low-price grocery store ALDI.
Even though there is an ALDI very close to my house, I had never explored the store until very recently. It took me awhile to prepare myself for using only debit cards or cash (no checks or credit cards), and you also have to pay a quarter to use a grocery cart there (but the quarter is returned to you when you put it back). In addition, grocery bags are not included in the experience, and there are no baggers to help—obviously all ways that ALDI can cut overhead prices and thus keep food prices very low. However, unlike Sam’s Club or Costco where your purchases are bulk and therefore typically too big for most grocery store bags, after my first few trips to ALDI I began to feel encumbered by putting multiple miscellaneous single items in the trunk of my car. (And I have never been one to plan ahead and bring my own bags.)
Last week at ALDI, when I was feeling particularly tired of the weekend grocery-store routine, I overhead a customer in front of me tell the cashier that she wanted to purchase a few grocery bags from them. I decided to chime in that I would like to do the same, and looked over at a large section of the store that I had never noticed before—the location of a very long and continuous built-in plastic table where other shoppers were bagging their own groceries. It was almost like another “stop” on the grocery-store “circuit.” Spontaneously I decided that I would create a collaborative framework with my son where we would bag our own groceries (something that we had never done before). While we pushed the cart to the table area, consistent with my vocational rehabilitation interest I thought of the occupational position of bagger and how frequently individuals with special needs are placed in this position. While most would construe this sort of job to be a humble goal to strive for, I have learned with my son to stay open to the possibilities.
When my son realized what we were going to do, it was as if a light bulb went off in his head—as if he was thinking, “Do you mean I get to extend it further with my mom and do this together too? I got it! I can do this!” I don’t know if I had ever seen as much curiosity and motivation in my son before—an aloof young boy with classic autism and profound dyspraxia. He had the recognition that he could be competent at doing a task he had never done before. It was as if all the tenets I had worked on with him over the years had integrated and synthesized.
He was referencing me spontaneously and fluidly to a pervasive degree. He was giving me experience-sharing glances as if to communicate “Isn’t this neat?” He was initiating getting the next item on his own, trying again if his initial placement didn’t work out in the bag, altering the care and strength that he needed to exert based on the particular item, and modifying his placement based on my non-verbal feedback. He “got it” that the large jug of cider didn’t need to be bagged. Then, when we got to the car, because we hadn’t bought enough bags for all of our purchases, we still had some loose items that we needed to get into the car. He sat in his seat while I added more variation to our framework by handing him the single loose items one-by-one (and in other configurations) and motioned to him that he could just put them on the floor in front of him. My nonverbal son gave me several experience-sharing looks of joy as if to communicate, “This is a riot! Who puts a naked un-bagged green pepper on the floor of their car? Only my mom does something like this!”
Then, as we drove out of the parking lot, my son (who is now able to approximate singlewords but only in imitation—never independently initiated) looked at me, pointed with his index finger in the direction of our house, and said joyfully and spontaneously, “Home!” As we drove home that evening, I felt like the most triumphant mother who had ever lived on earth. While I have experienced great emotional pain about my son’s disability, wished that our relationship could be more complete, and yearned for the whole endeavor to be easier—I also realized from this experience that very few mothers could experience unbridled joy from the mundane task of bagging groceries with their son.
Ideas for Elaboration
Fine-Tune Your
Skills: Bagging Groceries 101
To Properly Pack a Grocery Bag, Place Heaviest Items at the Bottom
When packing grocery bags, prepare to have several bags open and ready for
packing at once. As items come off the conveyor belt, choose the heaviest items
to pack first (e.g., jars, jugs of milk and laundry detergent) and place these
items in the bottom of the grocery bags.
To Properly Pack a Grocery Bag, Distribute Heavy Items Among Several Bags
To avoid having some bags that are too heavy to easily carry, distribute the
heavy items among several different grocery bags.
To Properly Pack a Grocery Bag, Stand Boxes Up
When packing a grocery bag, stand boxes up inside the bag. Standing the boxes
gives the grocery bags form and makes them easier to handle. It maximizes the
use of grocery bag space, enabling you to use less grocery bags total than if
items are tossed into the grocery bag carelessly. Standing the boxes when
packing grocery bags also protects the contents of the boxes.
To Properly Pack a Grocery Bag, Pack Frozen Items Together
Frozen items need special care when packing a grocery bag. These items should
be packed together. There are two reasons for packing frozen items together.
The first reason for packing frozen items together is that it helps them
maintain their temperature. The second reason is that on arriving home, all of
the frozen items, which generally are unpacked first, are easy to locate. Just
carry the bag(s) with frozen items to the freezer and unload. This makes the
job easier, protects the food, and eliminates the need to open the freezer
multiple times.
To Properly Pack a Grocery Bag, Pack Refrigerator Items Together
Similar to the freezer items, the refrigerator items also need to maintain
their temperature. Refrigerator items need to be put away quickly for their
sake, and for the sake of the other items in the refrigerator. Packing all
refrigerator items together addresses these needs.
To Properly Pack a Grocery Bag, Pack Fruits and Vegetables Together
While fruit and vegetables logically could be packed with other refrigerator
items, it makes sense to pack them together. These items go in special drawers
in the refrigerator and it is easier to open a drawer and put them all in at
once than to have to open it several different times or search through multiple
bags looking for the fruits and vegetables.
To Properly Pack a Grocery Bag, Pack Cleaning Items Together
When packing a grocery bag, segregate cleaning items from edible items. In case
of leakage, this will protect food items from contamination.
To Properly Pack a Grocery Bag, Pack Fragile Items at the Top
Fragile items (e.g., eggs, breads, and berries) belong at the top of the
grocery bag. Placing fragile items at the top of the grocery bag protects them
from being squished by heavier items.
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Dr. Audrey Todd obtained her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Stony Brook University. She received her Master of Fine Arts in Acting from Rutgers University and her Bachelor's degree from Duke University. In addition to maintaining a private practice in Columbus, Ohio, Dr. Todd is the creator and CEO of Food for Good Thought, Inc., a supported employment facility dedicated to individuals with autism. She has an eight year-old son with autism and is an RDI Program Certified Consultant.
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Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down
Following the January 6th Festival of Kings, most families end the holidays by cleaning up and packing away their glitter (not to be confused with the British rock band, Glitterati), lights and ornaments. Around this time the weather tends to be inclement with winter snow and sleeting rain, that cold drizzle that freezes to the quick. While it is easy to plug the kids in, maybe the better choice is something besides screen time and video games. Consider an unplugged adventure. Co-regulation is a...(read more)![]()
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Thank You For RDI!
Thank You For RDI! by Dr LorRainne Jones
RDI Certified Consultant, DR LorRainne Jones
I
have a little RDI guy who was diagnosed with PDD at about age 2. When
he was 18 months old, I got a call from his dad...his son had no words,
poor eye contact, limited play skills, liked to walk around looking at
the edges of window sills and bookcases, liked to watch toys drop, did
not respond to his name, did not appear to understand any language,
etc. I asked him to bring the little guy over for a screening the next
day..for me it was just a confirmation...Therapy started the next
week...
He was nonverbal and, using the program I describe in my book, we got his spoken language and referencing going first. Then we addressed acquisition of early cognitive skills. We worked on acquisition of receptive language as needed. By starting with expressive language first, we can teach both at the same time. Then, we referred for a diagnosis. "PDD", the doctor said. Considering where he had been, I was happy with that.
About six months into treatment, he started OT. A short while after that, we started RDI. About 6 months later, he started two mornings a week at an inclusive preschool. It was not good. "Not ready yet", I told them. Rather, time spent with neurotypical children would be less formal, a gymboree class here and there. The neighborhood playground worked well, too The primary focus had to be RDI . "We will get him there", I told them. The parents got it and did what they needed to do.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. He started in a regular kindergarten classroom and is thriving. He gets a great behavior-green light report everyday. He is popular and has lots of friends. The teacher mentioned that she wanted to refer him for testing for the gifted education program. She wanted to make sure that he did not get bored. She explained to the parents that it was important to get these gifted kids identified as early as possible so they would thrive. She hinted that gifted kids have educational needs that differ from typical children. Thanks to RDI, and other timely interventions, he is going to get a very special "special education".
Thank you, again, for RDI!!!!
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LorRainne Jones, M.A., CCC-SLP, Ph.D., BCBA
Dr. Jones is a licensed speech- language pathologist with over 30
years experience. She also has a Ph.D. in Education from the
University of Michigan. Dr. Jones works with children with autism,
PDD, and Asperger syndrome. Her area of expertise is teaching speech to
non verbal children with Autism. She has been an RDI Certified
Consultant for over five years. www.kidprotherapy.com
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This book provides therapists and parents with a way to assess children not only in language functioning, but also other areas of development including sensory processing, motor development, and social emotional development.
The chapter entitled," Understanding Challenging Behavior", offers parents and therapists strategies to determine the function of challenging behaviors and offers ideas for teaching more socially acceptable replacement behaviors. The final chapter, "Language for a Life and a Lifetime" challenges clinicians to make sure that the language they teach is the language that will make a dramatic difference in children's lives today and in the years to come.
Click here to request a copy
The Source for Expressive Language Delay
This book provides therapists and parents with a way to assess children not only in language functioning, but also other areas of development including sensory processing, motor development, and social emotional development.
The chapter entitled," Understanding Challenging Behavior", offers parents and therapists strategies to determine the function of challenging behaviors and offers ideas for teaching more socially acceptable replacement behaviors. The final chapter, "Language for a Life and a Lifetime" challenges clinicians to make sure that the language they teach is the language that will make a dramatic difference in children's lives today and in the years to come.
Click here to request a copy
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The Joy of Being an RDI® Consultant
The Joy of Being an RDI® Consultant
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RDI Certified Consultant, Hailin Tchou |
by Hailin Tchou
The following story is heartening and adds to my joy as an RDI consultant. It may not be extraordinary to most parents. However, to parents who have children on the Autism spectrum, these are stories are of breakthroughs, of hope, of joy and of strength.
Three years ago.....I need to control
C was 4 years old at the time of his first RDA1. He was in control of the situation most of the time. In times of heightened anxiety, C would resort to random verbalization and leaving his partner (mom) and stray to another part of the room. Mom became increasingly anxious to keep C working with her. She increased direct instructions. Co-regulatory pattern was barely developed during the session. It had clearly become a“who controls whom?” situation. In the brief moments that C was able to be guided, co-regulation was disrupted by C's heightened anxiety and the need for control.
Now.....You cannot hide a secret from me
During the last live session with C’s mom, I was delighted to hear that C has changed in the following ways. C is now a seven-year-old boy. He is in 2nd grade and has gotten used to taking the school bus. Mom received a notice that C was going to take a different bus to school staring the 3rd week of the new school year. On the day of the change, the bus matron wanted to make sure that mom had prepared C for the change before she helped him on the new school bus. She was using an indirect way of talking to mom for fear that C might understand the content of the conversation before he was prepared for the change. She glanced towards C to inquire if mom had told him. C immediately chimed in saying, “I am going on a new school bus today.”
For C to be able to respond in this way, he was actively aware of his environment. He was interested in the conversation between his mom and the bus matron. He understood the nonverbal communication-the shifting of the matron’s eye gaze. He was also willing to accept and adapt to the change. C has made great stride in understanding and accepting changes.
People with ASD have great difficulties understanding nonverbal communication. C was able to recognize and understand the bus matron’s gaze shifting. He is not fearful of changes in his environment. C feels competent about his ability to adapt to these changes.
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Hailin
Tchou, M.S. CCC-SLP is a licensed bilingual (Chinese) speech-language
pathologist and an RDI® Consultant.
She practices in Brooklyn, New York.Email Hailin here.
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Am I My Brother's Keeper?
Today we celebrate families, parents and siblings of our children whose lives are impacted by autism. Many, as they enter university, choose careers supportive of people on the spectrum responding to their own early years which were often quite different from those of their peers. In RDI a basic principle is that all children in a family are important. This means that everybody gets equal time and equal resources. At first glance one might think that the child on the spectrum needs equal time and...(read more)![]()
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Progress Made with RDI
Progress Made with RDI®
by Charmaine Lee Nat: Before RDI and now My son Nat was diagnosed with moderate autism when he was three. Back then, I knew something was not right with him but I wasn’t sure what exactly. So his diagnosis was in a way a relief. We finally knew what the problem was and that he needed help.
It was clear to me from day one that RDI was the obvious choice as it is a parent based intervention program. For me, it didn’t make any sense to hand him over to ‘experts’ when we as parents can be empowered to guide and help him
Before we started on RDI, Nat was afraid of new environments. For example, at the playground, he would not dare to slide down by himself, he did not try other play features like swings and climbing structures. At his previous kindergarten, he could not cope with the dynamic environment and he would walk off to be by himself. He could not take instructions from his teachers. At home, he would run away when we offered him a new activity.
Today, Nat is five and a half years old. He enjoys new playgrounds, going for school excursions. He welcomes variety and novelty in activities. Nat is now in a Montessori environment. His teachers are delighted with his progress and at how far he has come. He can focus, manage his attention and receive guidance from his teachers now. His two way communication is in the emergent stage. Let me give an example of a two way dialogue. We were in a car. The front windscreen was covered with tree sap. (We had not encountered this situation before) I turn on the windscreen wipers but the sap smears all over and there’s no improvement
Me: “Oh dear, what should I do now?”
Nat: “Let the rain wash it away”
We are also very encouraged to see that he is starting to initiate play and communication with his classmates.
Dynamic Thinking in Action One time, I told Nat that I was so hungry and that my tummy was rumbling. Nat replied “Mummy is so hungry, you have tummy ache, you need to eat so much food”. This is meaningful as it comes from himself and not a scripted response.
Greatest Challenge Personally, I feel the greatest challenge is to remember to slow down. There is so much to be done everyday that it is not easy to remember that it is by slowing down that I can help Nat. In our daily life, there will be problems or opportunities for dynamic thinking that will arise. When I slow down I am able to recognize the opportunity, he is given time to think and the chance to develop his dynamic thinking.
- - - - - - - Charmaine
Lee is currently a RDI consultant in training. She feels privileged to
be a mother to Nathanael as the journey has been enriching and deeply
meaningful. This is because she and her husband have seen first hand the
benefits RDI has brought to her son and their family . She hopes to
empower other families to help their children and welcomes families who
feels the same way to work with her. Please visit her website at remediation-sg.com for more information.
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Happy Feet
The following video came across my desk recently and while I found it cute, I also found it inspirational. RDI has many objectives that result from simple observations of typical development. Our objectives are also in a hierarchy in that we start with something very basic and then move through variations and challenges into mindful complexities. Each step of the way our children become stronger, their shoulders more determined and their intent more dogged. This determination we see is based not...(read more)![]()
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Everybody Is a Genius
Everybody Is A Geniusby Melissa Chan
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| RDI Certified Consultant, Melissa Chan |
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
This quote immediately had me thinking about RDI, especially in terms of how feelings of competence affect our engagement with others. Everyone has something to share and contribute, but if you feel like you are being judged or are anxious about the outcome, how willing are you to freely act? It would be nerve-wracking to say the least to communicate in a truly experience-sharing manner if you are constantly thinking about the outcome of the conversation or activity.
I recently took a beginner level improvisation class and the first thing our teacher told us was that he believed that we were all geniuses and that we were going to support each other because that was going to be our job as an improv troupe. He proceeded to go into an exercise where he said his name and created a corresponding body movement and we had to imitate him, and then follow up with our own name and movement. He stated that if we didn’t follow him with the same enthusiasm or level of silliness we’d make him feel stupid - so we all had to immediately let go of that feeling of anxiety or fear of looking silly and just jump in. It wasn’t easy but by the time we had gone through all our names in this way were all more comfortable. This is fast forwarding through a lot of RDI work but it is exactly the point of why we must feel competent first. In another exercise we took a sentence from a fellow student and created from it - not getting way off topic or trying to be outrageous or funny but building on each other’s thoughts. In other words we were staying co-regulated. What we created turned out to be quite funny and unexpected all because we were in tune with each other and we were careful to maintain a communicative pace to keep with the development of our story.
This experience gave me the perfect anecdote to share with my families about true experience- sharing communication. No one had any idea how that story would really begin or end. The entire engagement was based on us listening and sharing with each other and what was created was something new, something no one else could have created in the special way that we did. Each engagement with your child can be viewed in this way. No one can predict or know exactly how it will turn out. You can create something that no other two people in the world but the two of you can create, because you’re both geniuses.
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Melissa Chan, OTR/L RDI CC, has been an Occupational Therapist since 2001 and has worked for the past ten years at LearningSpring School, a school for children on the autism spectrum located in New York City. In 2012 she became a certified RDI consultant and is one of two LearningSpring staff members who work with families at the school. RDI has completely changed how I work as an occupational therapist and I love the family-based approach.
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All Children Have the Right to Experience Life!
If you take a moment and look at this photo, you will notice children totally experiencing their lives with each other, the muddy spring day and the photographer for whom they are posing. Many of us will view a photo such as this with nostalgia, others will remember trying to contain the mud as it was being tracked onto our newly polished kitchen floor and to isolate the mess from a newly installed carpet. Regardless the levels of experience, we look at a photo like this and smile. We will have done...(read more)![]()
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“Nothing dynamic ever happens if nothing unexpected ever happens”
What we know about guiding is that for most of us it happens pretty intuitively. Even glitches are important to provide challenges from which the neurological system grows and develops. Autism is a different kind of glitch, however, and it always seems to throw off the intuitive ability to guide; more important, the desire of the apprentice to be guided. Small failures which interrupt the static elements of the world can take on enormous portent and be avoided by both guides and apprentices in future...(read more)![]()
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Why Do Children with Autism Wander?
Why Do Children with Autism Wander?
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| RDI Certified Consultant, April Choulat |
by April Choulat
A new study found that 49% of children with autism wander/elope from safe settings and 62% of families with children who elope were prevented from attending/enjoying activities outside the home due to fear of wandering. Half of parents of children who elope report they were never given advice about elopement from professionals. (Pediatrics, October 2012)
Why do children with autism wander? One of the hallmarks of autism is a limited ability to self-regulate using social referencing. Social referencing develops in very young children and is one way that babies and toddlers learn to process the environment. When presented with uncertainty or potential danger, the toddler can look to mom or dad to gain more information and decide what to do next. This is a cognitive process and depends on the ability to recognize uncertainty and process nonverbal communication from the parent. The vast majority of children with autism and Asperger's Syndrome do not use social referencing (or if they do, very rarely or in a rudimentary way).
A famous experiment of social referencing was done by Joseph Campos, and is shown here:
| An Experiment by Joseph Campos: The Visual Cliff |
How can we prevent wandering? In addition to normal precautions such as door and window locks and alarms, fencing and tracking devices (which some children need), it IS possible to teach children with autism how to self-regulate via the parent-child relationship.
The RDI Program offers parents a systematic curriculum which aims to restore the emotional feedback communication system between the child with autism and his or her parent. Not only is this ability to use social referencing necessary for safety reasons, but it is also a critical foundation to real-world success in managing stress and adapting to change as well as making and keeping friends (the real kind that don't require prompting in highly structured therapeutic settings).
Another component to wandering, which may be more of a challenge with some children than others, is the issue of perception of danger. A child who has very poor body organization and awareness of space may have a limited ability to accurately perceive and process danger. Children who often climb to the highest point or who bump into walls and people may fit into this category. In these cases parents can learn ways to support their child's recognition of danger and increase their sense of wariness. Without wariness a child with autism is prone to wander off from caregivers, not tethered by the invisible thread of emotional connection that social referencing provides.
As a consultant, countless parents I have worked with using the RDI protocol have reported significant improvements in their stress level as a result of their child learning to reference and regulate with them. Everyday activities like going to the grocery store or walking on a sidewalk no longer trigger panic for parents who previously worried about their child's safety in such situations. It is my hope that one day all parents will know that their autistic child can learn to connect with them on such a foundational level, and perhaps prevent some of the tragic accidents we hear about in the news; accidents that happen all because the child with autism does not experience a sense of wariness and/or disconnection from their primary caregiver.
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April Choulat is CEO and founder of Pathways Developmental Learning Center Inc.
and the International Association of Integrative Autism Specialists.
She supports families all over the world to build brighter futures for
children with autism using innovative approaches that strengthen
developmental foundations and maximize the child's potential. To learn
more about April's products and services and to receive autism support,
sign up for her free newsletter by texting "AUTISMHELP" to 22828. Email April
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Long Distance Relationships: How RDI can bring us closer
Long Distance Relationships: How RDI can bring us closer
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| Prue Watson |
by Prue Watson
This is part one of an article about working with clients at a distance, by RDI consultant and Australian Training Center Directer, Prue Watson.
I want to share with you how the 'Tyranny of Distance" has become both the catalyst and the motivator to allow me to establish long distance relationships that have not just connected me, but allowed me to develop and grow.
I first encountered RDI was in 2005, and as I listened to Dr Gutstein talk about how parents were able to influence their child's potential, I must admit...I was interested! So, when Dr Sheely explained that we could go to Houston to learn about how to do this, had to find a way get there! I quickly signed up and worked on how I was going to manage traveling across the world, though I had never traveled out of Australia before.
My client base is all over the map!
I am an RDI Certified Consultant and Occupational Therapist currently living in Rockhampton in Queensland, a North Eastern State of Australia. Though I am located on the Tropic of Capricorn in the Central Queensland region, my client families are from all over:
- 30% are local or up to 1-2 driving hours away. These families usually come in for face to face sessions or I am also able to visit them and do necessary liaison work as required.
- 20% are 4-6 driving hours from me. Because air travel is too costly or not available, we use the Internet to do sessions with a face-to-face session usually occurring every second or third session. I try to do a face-to-face visit to the family two or three times a year.
- 50% are 8+ driving hours away from me. Here I use Internet to do regular sessions and the family may be able to travel to my area for a two-day stay, where we do assessment, immersion and hands on work together. Alternatively I may travel to their area to do the hands on face-to-face work with them. Usually I fly!
How did this happen and why do I see so many distance families?
I have always worked in regional areas and have done a lot of work with families in regional country communities. In Queensland, services are very limited to country regions with most health and support services located in the central Brisbane or major regional hubs along the east coast. So I was familiar with the service model of taking services 'out west' from a regional hub out into the Queensland 'bush'. My current OT client base already had 50% of clients coming from rural areas to see me.
When I did the RDI Consultant Training in 2005 there was only one RDI consultant in Sydney Australia, and many families accessing US - based consultants via a long distance relationship! Now that was a model I could identify with!
I was taken with how RDI was promoted as being accessible and how it was evolving so that it could be accessed and delivered via technology and the Internet across the world!
In 2006 as I was completing my training [my supervision family lived 3 hours away and would travel in for sessions with me!], I was able to attend a 4-day Parent Training in Sydney where four families who were working with me also attended. I remember one parent [from the capital city] commenting to Suzy, [who lived 6 hours from me], "how come you in the country can 'get' a consultant and those in the capital city couldn't?" This was unheard of - having a service in country Queensland available before the city! At that time I was the only RDI consultant trainee in Queensland!
I can remember Suzy being very pleased with this!
These parents lived in a rural area that was remote, but had managed to be supported by a Commonwealth funding programme that supported educational and health needs of rural and remote and isolated families. So they had travelled to Sydney [23 hrs driving / 4 hrs flying from Barcaldine] to learn about the RDI approach and had also committed themselves to travel to see me - a 6-hour road trip to Rockhampton, for their RDI Consult sessions.
I could see how RDI had been a pivotal influential factor for this family, in that they had achieved all the elements - access, availability, investment and commitment; they were able to 'deliver the service' to their child themselves and with the guidance of the RDI way of thinking and use of technology, we established a productive and prosperous long distance relationship.
This is reflective of the motivation that families have to seek out and invest in support for their child, and while this is a feature of most families who engage in the RDI process, I see this very much in isolated and rural families with whom I have worked. They will do the long hours road travel to come in for their RDI session with the same commitment that they may use to travel to other health or educational services or for leisure or recreation.
Distance was not an obstacle!
What I realized was the potential that RDI offered to families was not based on the availability or accessibility but on continuity and investment!
Next week, Part 2: The Pros and Cons of Distance Consulting
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Prue Watson is an Occupational Therapist andRDI®
Certified Consultant who consults with families in Central Queensland
and surrounding remote areas. She also serves as an RDI training supervisor and is the Director of the newly established Australian Training Center.
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